Slide Show Project | Tech
|Use some of the following
funny Think Twicers to make a slide show.
- Each Think Twicer should
be divided into two parts on two different slides.
- You might want to choose
Think Twicers to make a theme, such as animals, sports, time, travel,
- Always remember
that you’re unique--just like everyone else.
- As I said before,
I never repeat myself.
- Babies don't need
a vacation, but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to a little baby
and say, "What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!"
- Better not take
a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're
coming home his face might burn up.
- Change is inevitable...except
from a vending machine.
- Cloning is the sincerest
form of flattery.
- Cross country skiing
is great if you live in a small country.
- Dain bramaged
- A day without sunshine
- Department of Redundancy
- Do vegetarians eat
- Do you think that
when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
- Don’t be so
open-minded that your brains fall out.
- During the Middle
Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because
you were "just going down to the corner."
- Ever stop to think
and forget to start again?
- Everything can be
filed under “miscellaneous.”
- Everywhere is walking
distance if you have the time.
- The face of a child
can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice
of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
- The earth is like
a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier.
- A flashlight is
a case for holding dead batteries.
- For people who like
peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
- Ham and eggs: A day's work for
the chicken, but a lifetime commitment for the pig.
- Help wanted: Telepath.
(You know where to apply.)
- How does the guy who drives
the snow plow get to work in the morning?
- How much deeper
would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow there?
- I bought a house
on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.
- I bought some batteries,
but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
- I bought some powdered
water, but I didn't know what to add.
- I bought some used
paint. It was in the shape of a house.
- I hate it when my
foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all
- I have a hobby.
I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on
beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.
- I have an answering
machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now, but leave a message and I'll
call when I'm out."
- I hope if dogs ever
take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because
I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
- I hope life isn't
a big joke, because I don't get it.
- I hope some animal
never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later
you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.
- I know that I know
- I planted some bird
seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
- I spilled Spot remover
on my dog. Now he's gone.
- I took lessons in
bicycle riding, but I could only afford half of them. Now I ride a unicycle.
- I used to be clueless
about math, but I turned that around 360 degrees.
- I used to work in
a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
- I was arrested for
selling illegal-sized paper.
- I washed a sock.
Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
- I went fishing with
a dotted line...I caught every other fish.
- I went to a general
store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
- I went to a restaurant
that serves "Breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during
- I Xeroxed a mirror.
Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
- If one synchronized
swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If you ever drop your keys
into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
- If you go flying
back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future,
it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
- If your parents
didn’t have any children, neither will you...which is why my brother
is an only child.
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day,
365 days ayear, why are there locks on the doors?
- Illiterate? Read
this and write for help!
- I'm so tired...I
was up all night trying to round off infinity.
- I'm writing a book.
I've got the page numbers done.
- I’m writing
an unauthorized autobiography.
- Instead of trying
to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about
getting more use out of the ones we already have.
- It doesn’t
matter what temperature the room is--it’s always room temperature.
- It's a small world,
but I wouldn't want to paint it...
- Last week, I went
to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't
- Madness takes its
toll. Please have exact change.
- My friend has a
baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what
- On the other hand,
you have different fingers.
- One planet is all
- One time a cop pulled
me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign."
I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."
- Probably the earliest
flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached
to the end of a long stick.
- Procrastinate now!
- Proofread carefully
to see if you any words out.
- Radioactive cats
have 18 half lives.
- Some are wise and
some others are otherwise.
- Some days you’re
the pigeon; some days you’re the statue.
- Someone sent me
a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were
- There are three
kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can’t.
- There are two rules
for success: 1) Never tell everything you know.
- There was a power
outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the
- There's a pizza
place near where I live that sells only slices... in the back you can see
a guy tossing a triangle in the air.
- They say it’s
not as bad as they say it is.
- They told me I was
gullible and I believed them.
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- To me, boxing is
like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit
- To me, it's a good
idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way,
if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry,
got these sacks."
- Today I...No, that
- What's another word
- When I found the
skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I
got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person
was, and why he had deer horns.
- When I get real
bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in
my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
- When I was a kid,
we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child...eventually.
- When you're riding
in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the
window, or it will turn into a fossil.
- Whenever you read
a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you,
which is why I don't like to read good books.
- Why are there flotation devices
under plane seats instead of parachutes?
- Why do our noses run and our
- Why do we drive on parkways
and park on driveways?
- Why is abbreviation
such a long word?
- Why is it that when you transport
something by car it's called a shipment, but when youtransport something
by ship, it's called cargo?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the
way it sounds?
- You can observe
a lot just by watching.
- You can't have everything...Where
would you put it?
- You know that little indestructible
black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane
out of the same substance?
- You know what I
hate? Indian givers...no, I take that back!
- Don’t you
hate it when there’s not enough room to fini